Advice from a Father to a son: Change your name and pretend you never had aspirations. Become a disc jockey in your hometown and sleep with high school girls. Eat a lot of sausage and beer and accidentally start a couple of families you can’t support and get thrown in jail for student loan “evasion” and talk about how good you were in Hamlet to anyone who will listen and then have a motorscooter accident at 4am on I-94 just outside of Milwaukee by the Girl Scout Headquarters and live the rest of your life painting frogs in a mental hospital for the criminally insane and sell pictures of your fat hairy *ss on the internet while covering yourself in beans for 72 hours and calling it some sort of world record.